What did the President know, and when did he know it?

There's been a break-in at the Democratic National Headquarters in our backyard. We knew that our coop, which occupies half of the old shed out back, might have some security flaws, so to test it, we put some cat food in a plastic pot as bait and locked it inside the coop.

Sure enough, someone (we'll call him McCord) broke in twice--once last night and once the night before--and got the food. We're not sure whether the culprit is a raccoon, a skunk, or a possum, but judging from the burrowing action, I'm guessing possum. Had we looked out the window, we might have seen some flashlights moving around in the shed. We also could have captured this on video surveillance, but unfortunately, there is an 18 1/2 minute gap in the recording. We're bringing Haldeman in for questioning.

Now we've got another big construction project on our hands, with the chicks about 6 weeks away from moving outdoors. Not sure yet what the solution will be. The Senate hearings will begin soon. We'll keep you posted. Below is the timeline of events as best we've been able to determine.